"..His Song is with me.."

Psalm42ministries: Musical Devotionals

“Do I Really Believe….?


How is it that I know that writing and reflecting bring peace to my soul, yet during one of the hardest seasons of my life, thus far, I have written the least….

How is it that during this season, I feel like I have talked to God the least…..

Do I really believe……that He can do anything?  That He can……but what about if you are faced with the possibility that He can, but He may not……

What if this thing…this thing He may not change in your life brings you heartache…..what do you pray for then?  Is this why I have no words…..?

What if you know beyond a doubt that God can, but He chooses not to…..is He still a good God to you?  Do I think I know more than He?

How can I, Denise, be out of words…..?  I am Language teacher, I am a talker…it’s the only reason I would get in trouble in school.  🙂   Words are such a significant and huge part of me, my identity. Words have power, words are seeds, words soothe, words lift, words brings life……

Does the Lord want me to stop talking for a while and just listen?  But….I have so much to impart.  I feel that I have lived so much, learned so much that I need to steward this and impart it to my loved ones, my students, other teachers….anyone.

I feel like I already talk much less than I want to; I already feel that I am not heard…..does He want me to write more?  Does He want me to talk to Him more?  Does He want me to read more?  Will all of this bring me the discernment that I crave?

Right now I’m at a coffee shop…this older black woman who is sitting with a group just turned around and smiled and winked at me.   I smiled back and became emotional…holding back tears.  Why?  Is this how much I need someone to listen and understand, that I cry with the slightest attention?

He wants to give me this attention.  He is jealous for me.  I know that He carries me and intercedes for me when I have no words, but He wants a deeper relationship with me.  This is why He created me.  He can accomplish His work with or without me.  My loved ones and students will hear what He wants them to hear with or without me.  But, the top reason He created me was out of love.

So, the question, I guess, is not do I really believe, it’s do I really love Him?   I feel like I believe the Bible cover to cover, although I may not understand everything, I know He sees my life beginning to end and I trust Him with it.  He’s shown me His grace and mercy multiple times throughout my life.   So, if this is true, if I believe all of this, am I living it?  Am I loving Him with my life-truly?

The Greatest Commandment   Mark 12:28-31

28One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

29“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.e30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’f 31The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’g There is no commandment greater than these.”






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